


What Happens In Purgatory

by Birdgirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bad Dreams, Canon Typical Violence, Character Death In Dream, Dean in Purgatory, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M, definitely lots of destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:51:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdgirl/pseuds/Birdgirl





	1. -Stays in Your Dreams

He was being chased. Chased through dreary, almost grey-leafed forest, eerily silent save the sound of sticks cracking under his feet. Except, he knew he wasn't alone. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, lungs screaming even as he charged on, arms pumping at a hundred miles an hour as he crashed through brush and branches. He could hear it, though, getting ever closer- catching it out of the corner of his eye, though he had long ago given up the effort of whipping his head around to see what it was.

 

It was then that he tripped. It didn't matter what had tripped him- a rock, a stray root, his own feet- he was done for. He yelped as he flew towards the ground, face-first into a pile of rotting leaves, some fleeting thought thanking the universe that at least he'd die comfortable. But somehow, he never reached the ground. He kept falling, the leaves opening up to a black abyss, leaving his pursuer behind.

 

He screamed as he fell, the sound echoing off of nothing, eyes thrust into darkness save the ever-shrinking pinprick of light leaking in from the bleary surface he came from. Horror seized his bones as some force pulled him away from the hole, and then suddenly everything was black, and he wasn't falling anymore.

 

He was sitting on his knees, still in pitch darkness. He heard voices around him, whispers barely audible, yet somehow reverberating around his skull. Even for a few moments it was maddening, being in such darkness yet ultimately being watched by someone, something- somethings.

 

_Welcome back, Winchester…_

 

He shivered, that one voice seemingly thousands of times louder than the others, familiar and more real than his nightmares.

 

_We've missed you down here… you know, you were the very best- at the very worst. Heh heh heh…_

 

He clutched his head, willing the voice to go away. He couldn't be back here- anywhere but here. But the more he thought about it, the louder it became. The ground started to glow a faint red, transforming into burning hot coals in seconds, dissolving through his jeans and shoes and he cried out.

 

Suddenly, there was fire everywhere. Nothing but darkness above him, and nothing but huge licking flames and burning coals and whispers from everywhere, and he screamed. The scream became a shriek and died off into silence and pure terror as the fire licked at his jacket, burning through and never stopping. He could only think and writhe and shriek soundlessly as he started to burn alive.

 

"NO NO NO NO NO! PLEASE, NO!"

 

The other whispers were now inhuman shrieks and cackles, demons tilting their heads back and howling into the nothingness. But above all, there was still that one voice, the one he'd heard for more than forty years in fire and plenty more in dreams- a voice that filled him with even more terror than his situation. It laughed louder than the rest, the sound increasing until he saw a dark figure moving through the flames.

 

Alastair stepped out of the flames, smile distorted and eyes blacker even than the abyss around them.

 

_Welcome to Hell, Dean._


	2. -Stays in Purgatory

"Raaaaagh!"

 

Dean woke up with a shout, appendages flailing in every direction. He felt a hand at the side of his face and one at his shoulder, shaking only a little roughly. His eyes shot open and, after a moment of panic, he recognized the familiar face leaning over him. Or, more accurately, about 4 inches away from his own.

 

Castiel's eyebrows were creased and his head tilted to the side, biting a fraction of his lip and staring at him with bright eyes which seemed too bright for Purgatory.

 

Purgatory, right. That's where he was. Dean looked around, remembering all to well the dreary settings where he made himself bed down for a few hours. Benny was supposedly prowling the general area, but at the moment Dean couldn't see him. Couldn't see much of anything, really.

 

"Dean."

 

Dean blinked, remembering who was with him. He faced back to Castiel, and suddenly noticed how bright a blue his eyes were- brighter than they should be when it was this dark.

 

_"Dean."_ Cas shook his shoulder again. _WORDS_ , Dean, his brain reminded himself, and he struggled to get his shit together.

 

"Uh… Wha?" Yeah, real smart, Dean. Frickin' poetic, that.

 

"You were having a nightmare."

 

He said it very matter-of-factly, but Dean noticed the hand grip a little harder on his shoulder, fingers lacing themselves on the place where his scar used to be. Dean creased his own brows a little in confusion, before turning his attention first to the hand on his shoulder, and then to the one on his face. The same face that was about 3 inches from Castiel's, now.

 

_Woah. That was a little closer than last time._

 

"...Cas?"

 

Cas had been looking at the scar, coming blinking back to focus directly on Dean. Dean was used to being under that gaze, but this was somehow different. He felt a little warm, a little… uncomfortable wasn't the word, but it was his default, so he went with it.

 

"Cas, you're a little close, dude. I had a nightmare, not a heart attack."

 

But Cas stayed where he was, eyes unblinking in that inhuman sort of way. And Damn, they were so close Dean was noticing the blue patterns of his eyes, how tiny light tendrils came out from the purple and faded into a deep, deep blue that he didn't even know if there was a name for. He himself blinked rapidly, trying to ignore the heat and warmth that came with that stare. Maybe Cas just hadn't heard him. Celestial being and all, sure, but he just hadn't heard him…

 

"Cas, dude, you're cramping my space here."

 

Cas pursed his lips, and Dean did not acknowledge the fact that he noticed a minute bit of tongue sticking out for half a second to wet them. Because that, that would be creepy. What he _didn't_ fail to notice, however, was that Cas got even closer, eyes boring right through him.

 

"You were dreaming of Hell."

 

Dean's voice came out snappier than he had imagined. Then again, it might have to do with their situation.

 

"Yeah, and what's it to you? Wait a sec, how did you even- fuck, Cas, did you just creep up in my dreams? Were you _reading my mind?_ "

 

Cas visibly flinched, looking down as if ashamed. "I was… curious, Dean. You were thrashing."

 

Dean sighed, bringing a hand up to run through his hair, elbow almost smacking Cas in the face. Oh, yeah, right. Close proximity was still a thing.

 

"Yeah, well. Cut it out, I'm fine. And, dude, two words: Personal. Space. How many times do I gotta say it-"

 

Cas got closer again, which Dean really didn't think was possible.

 

"What the Hell, Cas?"

 

"I'm still doing it."

 

"Still being waaay too close? Yeah, I'd say so." Dean put a hand on Cas' chest, pushing upwards to move him aside. He didn't budge. Dean tried to ignore the warmth he was feeling, awkwardness fading away at a disconcerting rate. This should be awkward! Cas should have fucking gotten off him already. Instead, Cas stayed a good 2 inches away from his face, if that, eyes boring through him, thumb on his face starting to rub gentle circles on his cheek. Dean tried to concentrate, putting himself back on full bark mode, with a little effort.

 

"What the actual fuck, Cas?"

 

"I'm still doing it, Dean."  
 

"Doing WHAT?"

 

"Reading your mind. I'm a bit curious as to why you're lying."

 

Dean almost sputtered. "You're _WHAT?_ " Dean felt his face heat up, not quite sure why he felt like a kid caught stealing from the cookie jar. His heart rate picked up a little.

 

"I'm wondering why you're lying, Dean. You said you wanted me to separate us, but your mind… your _soul_ is saying something different. Why?"

 

What kind of question was that? What did he mean, Dean's _soul_ was saying something different? Sure, they were friends, no, best friends. But why was his face hot? Why was he so nervous? What. The. Fuck? Dean opened his mouth to say… something along those lines. He was stopped short in his tracks when he felt a puff of breath leave Cas' mouth and wisp into his. His eyes widened.

 

What he meant to say was another "get off me", another "what the hell?". What came out, a bit embarrassingly, was a tiny, tiny moan that he'd never admit to, as he craned his neck up those two inches and locked lips with the angel.

 

Cas reacted immediately, blue eyes going wide in surprise for a split second before the pupils darkened in understanding, and he pressed back, the hand on Dean's face moving to the back of the neck to pull him closer. It was like he was starving. He gripped Dean's shoulder tighter, uncomfortable breaching on a bit painful, but Dean wasn't paying attention.

 

Dean was too busy disconcertingly flip-flopping between being bombarded by a hundred questions at once and simultaneously (oh god, was that his tongue?) feeling his mind go absolutely blank when Cas ran his fingers through the back of the man's hair. He felt wobbly and lightheaded for all the right reasons, and god, did Cas have a tongue on him… it was almost too good, all at once… too nice, too quickly, too damn much.

 

_But also wrong._ A voice in his head told him. _What the fuck are you doing, princess? Who the hell do you think you're kissing right now- a frickin' angel! Not just any angel, CAS. A guy, no, an angel IN a guy. Son of a bitch, there are so many things wrong with this picture will you get a hold of yourself Dean!_

 

Dean shuddered and pushed Cas away. It made him feel empty, and a little bit disappointed, but he pushed those down with everything else. He tried to ignore the fact that it really did feel good to kiss Cas. He tried to ignore the kicked puppy face the angel was sprouting. He tried to justify that this wasn't right, even though nothing else had felt better in a long, long time. He looked away, unable to meet that blue-eyed gaze, waiting for the inevitable question.

 

"Why did you stop?"

 

The hunter looked out into the gray forest, which darkened into blackness. There was no actual moon in purgatory.

 

"Look, Cas, it's not… This isn't what guys do, okay? Okay, well, some guys do, but those guys are… not me. I'm not gay, and even if I was you're a freakin' _angel_ , dude, that has to be wrong on so many levels…"

 

"I do not see the problem. You seemed to enjoy-"

 

"Stop, Cas. Just… we can't."

 

The angel cocked his head, still wearing that innocent, sad look that just scratched at his insides.

 

"Is this about your human sexuality? I did not mean to offend you. As an angel I have no sexual preference and so I did not mean to inadvertently do anything that you did not enjoy, though I really thought-"

 

"Cas. Just… Just stop, man. You… Hell, man, you haven't offended me. We just can't, okay? It's not right. So… Just stop."

 

It hurt for him to say it. It really did. He felt like a jerk above all jerks. But he'd already done enough damage, and he didn't want to do any more. Didn't accidentally want to lose one of the best friends he'd ever had.

 

Cas was just about to open his mouth to speak again, when there was a crackle of leaves behind them. Both their heads whipped around, instantly on alert. Dean's hand went to the knife in his pocket. The figure that came out did so with his hands up, lips quirked up in a smirk.

 

"Sorry, brother. Didn't mean to interrupt your guys' slumber party." Benny laughed, walking into the light of the fire. He put his hands down, walking over to them and plopping himself down, warming his hands. Cas pursed his lips, but said nothing.

 

Benny seemed to sense the tense situation, looking first to Cas and then Dean.

 

"Look, brother, if you two are having some sorta marital problems, I can go…" he half-joked. Dean looked to the vampire, faking a laugh and giving him a friendly punch in the arm.

 

"Shut up." he smirked, fakely.

 

"You sure?" This time Benny looked at Cas. Cas looked like he was about to say something, before Dean interrupted him.

 

"Yep. We're sure."

 

Dean purposefully looked away from the glare that the angel was shooting him. But, that was alright, he rationed. He probably deserved it, he just couldn't risk their friendship being ruined.

 

They never again  talked about what happened that day in Purgatory. But neither of them could forget it, either.


End file.
